From the back cover: Eve is eight months pregnant and in the middle of a Thanksgiving celebration when she discovers that her husband, Jonathan, has developed an emotional affair with another woman over the past year. Jonathan asserts his innocence because there was no physical intimacy, but Eve feels deeply betrayed by the connection he shared with someone else. What Jon has done seems so terrifyingly out of character that Eve finds herself questioning her entire world. As she learns more about what did happen, she starts to wonder if there are worse infidelities than sex. Is his emotional affair more forgivable than a sexual one? And most important, can their marriage survive?
I chose to read this book because my friend Mel at Lit*Chick featured this for this month's online bookclub. At first I was a little put off by the back cover description but Mel liked the book and I was willing to see where it would take me. Without getting too personal, I'm all too aware of what infidelity can do to a marriage and so as I was reading this book, I kept asking myself THE QUESTION...which is worse....a sexual affair or an emotional affair? My personal feelings...an emotional affair feels more personal and more earth-shattering to me. How could this person that loves me and I love back, be giving a stranger time that should belong to me? telling this person things that they should be telling me, confiding their secrets and fears to this stranger instead of their "loved" one?
"Attending to someone outside of the marriage robs your partner of the intimacy they deserve."p.111
"You needed a book to tell you that?" I wished I could believe his conversion, but it seemed a little too convenient and showy, like something you'd find in a revival tent.
One of the questions from the back cover was, 'is his emotional affair more forgivable than a sexual one?' I guess my answer to that is no. I won't speak for all women but for me I want to connect with my partner on a deep emotional level not just when we're having sex or making love. There are things that only you two have shared and that is what makes your relationship so special. You are connected...but when that bond breaks....things just never seem the same again.
I found myself wishing Thanksgiving had never happened. I liked to think Jon would have come to his senses after Olivia was born and ended things with Laney on his own. If he had, I would never have been the wiser. I would never have had to rethink my entire relationship with him. I wouldn't have lost my best friend, my family. But once you know there's no Santa Claus, you can never convince yourself otherwise.
The other question that is asked is 'can their marriage survive?' I believe in my heart that if BOTH people are open and brutally honest with each other, and are both committed to their marriage, then yes, a marriage can survive infidelity. But not without a lot of tears, screaming, anger, true sorrow, forgiveness and most of all love.
I enjoyed reading this book and it certainly gave me a lot of food for thought. I would recommend it to anyone who is looking for a good read that will make them question themselves as to what you would do if you were in this situation.